Thursday, March 20, 2014

Answers to Questions from Pearl Necklace

One more sleep until Daddy comes home! Yay! I cannot wait. Here's my answers to some questions from Pearl over at Happily Surrendered and Submissive. Thank you for the great questions!

#1. What is one of your favorite posts on your blog here and why?

Well my favorite posts are all the ones that Daddy makes. I love getting to see a glimpse into his head. But if I have to pick one, I think my absolute favorite is the one he wrote here about our one night of attempting switching.

I have two reasons why I love this post the most. First, because it’s about a really fun night. Since our dating years, we’ve always had this fun, goofy, light-hearted, don’t-take-ourselves-too-seriously side to our relationship. One of my worries when we started down the D/s road was that we would lose that—that things would have to be more formal and joking and teasing with Daddy would be a no-no. But no, I still get to tease Daddy just as much and make him laugh (love that). Sure, Daddy has a line that if I get too close to will result in “the look” or a “warning”. And he does take the dynamic very seriously. But we’re still having lots of fun and laughing (maybe even more than before) and this night was a perfect example.

My second reason is because Daddy tells me over and over that I shouldn’t worry about what others think. I need to be honest and just be myself. In this post he wasn’t afraid to ‘practice what he preaches’ and do that himself. He didn’t care if it made him look weak or like a wuss. He led by example and for that I have so much more respect and trust for him.

#2. Your ideal night alone with Phillip...are you tied up or left loose? Combo perhaps =)

Oh gosh, right now I have to say partially tied up. Daddy has this rope he’ll bind my wrists with. I took a picture this week of it and texted it to him saying I couldn’t wait for it to be around my wrists again. And I really can’t wait!

#3. One bit of advice you would give to other loving submissive wives?

I am definitely not qualified to really give advice because I'm still new and every relationship is so different, but I’ll go with something I struggle with a lot, including as recently as this week.
It's Don’t hold back your feelings or needs from him because you don’t want to ‘burden’ him. Just tell him.

I do this a lot. I can be super emotional and needy sometimes and when Daddy’s had a long day, the thought of adding to that by telling him what's wrong with me can make me feel so guilty. I’ve already written about doing this before here

It nearly happened again on Tuesday. I woke up feeling super empty and depressed. I started thinking bad thoughts—that perhaps I missed Daddy more than he missed me. I was feeling emotionally lost. Somebody suggested I might have some subdrop (and yeah, although I didn’t think of that at first since it’s been a while since we’ve done anything intense—it did feel that way). He called me briefly during the day and he knew something was up. He always knows when something’s up. However being over a thousand miles away with not a lot of time, it was hard for him to get to the bottom of it. And the day just kept getting worse. Daddy had a long one that left him with a headache. I had a lot of ‘kid drama’ to deal with. So the idea of adding to all that by telling him I thought I may have subdrop suddenly had me feeling guilty.

But due to a push from another sub (thanks geekie kittie), late that night when I finally got some privacy, I told him. Within twenty minutes, I received an e-mail from him with a list of tasks he expected done before he comes home. And suddenly, I felt like his again and was back in that happy place. And I’ve been doing much better ever since.

I struggle with this constantly because I want to serve him. I want to be there for him. To make his life easier. Not give him more to do. But I think that by me making the decision on what he can handle or not handle, it’s not letting go and letting him lead. It’s not trusting him. And for us anyways, it does make his life easier if I just come out with it. He can solve it with a quick twenty minute e-mail instead of spending the rest of the week trying to drag it out of me.

Someday I’ll get this, I hope. But for now it’s my advice (so everyone can remind me of it next time I struggle).  


  1. Awww...I'm glad you like my posts! And I seem to have a different memory of the "switch" night and how much fun it was! Funny...yes.

    I'll see what I can do about #2 when I get home...

    I love you! See you tomorrow!!

  2. I am really enjoying your answers posts Aurora. I'm so glad your Daddy will be back with you soon :)

    I like your answer to No1 and what you said about retaining the fun side of your relationship. We are very much like that too and Rick was adamant at the beginning that we would not lose it when we started ttwd.

    Great advice and I think this is something many of a struggle with. We don't want to be a 'burden'. I glad you were able to tell your Daddy when you were struggling and that he was able to find a way to help you.


  3. Loved reading your answers. Thanks!

    Your tip is one that we really should just know and follow...and yet...we so often don't. I know that feeling of not wanting to 'burden'.