Friday, March 14, 2014

Separation Anxiety


Daddy’s leaving this weekend for a week-long business trip next week. Because he doesn’t want me to be alone, my mom is flying in from another state to spend the week with me and the kids. She’s coming tomorrow and since Daddy leaves very early on Sunday, this is really our last night alone together.

I don’t know what my problem is. We’ve been apart this long before and I was fine. Maybe it’s the past few months or the closeness of TTWD or I’m just super emotional, but I’m really having a hard time with this. I can’t concentrate on much of anything except to think that in less than 48 hours, he’ll be gone. I had nightmares last night. And my mom didn’t help much when she called to talk about how afraid she is to fly right now because of that missing plane.

Did I mention I’m not too fond of air travel? Actually terrified of it. And the one thing worse than me on a plane is Daddy on a plane without me. And since he has a connection, that means between leaving and coming back he’ll be on four of them. And then there’s the part where he won’t be coming home every night. Where I won’t get to fall asleep in his arms.

I have lots to keep me busy. I’m able to use the computer for more time now and questions to answer still and so many blog posts still to read (provided my mom doesn't get too nosy). I’m also gonna get to cook next week (which I love to do). I planned all the meals and I’m excited to make the kids favorites (because they’ve been missing them so much). And I’m really excited to make Daddy’s favorite meal on the day he gets back.

I also have my mom.  Daddy wants me to relax and enjoy my time with her. And he’s going to text me and call and maybe even send e-mails if he has time. He got me a stuffed animal that smells like him to cuddle with at night and I have some surprises for him too. He also told me to enjoy my freedom because since I'm recovering so well, when he gets back he’s cracking down on a few things…

But even with all of that to fill up my life and look forward to, I still can’t help wishing I could just go to sleep today and wake up a week from now. I know it’s just a week and I have friends who’ve survived so much longer. Months and even years.  So I should feel like a rotten person for even whining about this. But I’m not them. And today I just don’t have the strength.

Daddy, I’m really going to miss you.

16 comments:

  1. It's never easy hang in there.. D leaves for months and months and since we started this it's been way harder then anything I think it's the closeness we gain from it... He was gone for 11 mths last year he's been gone two weeks and I'm dying already ... I think to understand how we feel others would have to know about our relationships .. You have friends in bogland if you need to vent or a shoulder :) thank The Lord for Skype FaceTime and phone calls! (Which don't work very well when one is in a foreign country) :)

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    1. Oh thanks so much!

      And 11 months. (((big hugs))) You are so much stronger than I am.

      And I think you're right that it's different now. I remember a time where him leaving for a week was a 'fun break'.

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  2. You have every right to feel the way you do. You have just been thru hell by the way (in case you have forgotten ;) ), and your Daddy has taken very good care of you. Of course you are going to feel anxious and lonely. It is only to be expected.

    About the flying .. just think positive & happy thoughts & keep yourself busy when he is flying.

    Just take it one day at a time .. put one foot in front of the other, as they say & hopefully before you know it .. the week will be up & He will be home.

    And don't forget we are all here to keep you company so you can vent or whine or cry or whatever all you want! We've got your back! ;)

    (((hugs)))
    gk

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    1. Thanks GK. I don't know what I'd do without you!

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  3. I can relate to this. I HATE it when Master goes out of town to work.

    You are strong, you will get through it just fine and he will be back before you know it...at least it will seem like that once you're back in his arms.

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  4. Aurora,
    We are rarely apart for long, but if we will be, I have my Man wear a sweatshirt for a day or so and then leave it for me. I love to smell him when he is gone.

    Thank you for sharing and hopefully this time will pass quickly for you both!
    XOXO Pearl

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    1. That's a fabulous idea Pearl! I love the smell of him too. He sprayed a stuffed animal for me but the smell is wearing off now.

      Thanks You!!

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  5. i know exactly how you feel - right up to feeling silly that it's only x number of days and many people go months and years without their daddies... but it doesn't make it any less real or important.

    i hope the week goes really quickly for you. BIKSS just announced that he may be going away again in June. I'm NOT looking forward to it!

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    1. Thanks Fondles! Hearing you feel the same makes me feel a little less crazy.

      And I'm sorry about June...gosh I know that dread :(

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  6. I'm going to miss you too baby! Looking forward to coming home to you and I haven't even left yet. I love you!

    And a big thank you to all of our friends out in blogland. You have been great through Aurora's illness and now supporting her through this. This is so difficult for her but it's all part of the journey! You all are incredible!

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    1. I really really really miss you. And sorry for the bad attitude.

      Love you so much!

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  7. Hi Aurora, times apart are never easy and I think it is the closeness that ttwd brings. Also, you are recovering and your Daddy has been taking such great care of you.

    Hang in there and try to focus on the time with your mom and kids. I hope the time week passes quickly for you. We are here to listen and offer our support and hopefully help the week pass quickly for you.

    ((hugs))
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz!

      Yes, the closeness is great but does make times like this so much harder.

      hugs,
      aurora

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  8. ugh, I can so relate. I dislike it when my husband's just away at work for the day, or out for an evening!

    (((HUGS)))

    hope the time passes quickly xx

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    1. Thanks mc kitten. And yeah, I know. Missing him for just a day at work is usually bad enough.

      hugs,
      aurora

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