Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Baby Steps

First of all, an update on Aurora.  She is hanging in there.  I would say that her health is no worse than it was a month ago.  In some ways she is healthier.  I'm not sure what the future holds as far as medication goes, but I'm grateful that she isn't getting worse. She has an appointment with a specialist in a couple of weeks, so we hope to find out more soon.

As far as our dynamic goes...things have been in sort of a holding pattern.  This past weekend, however, Aurora asked me if we could take things deeper on the mental side of things.  She craves the control and while the physical side needs to be limited because of her health condition at the moment, she really wants to work on the mental side.

After some thinking about this, I have decided to slowly go deeper mentally.  I will confess that I had and still have some reservations about it.  I have seen that what we are doing now is working.  Her condition is not getting worse and I'm a firm believer in the saying "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".  However, in a way it is broken.  Aurora isn't getting what she needs right now and either am I.  So, while her physical health will always be my number one priority...it is worth exploring if we can grow mentally without affecting her condition.

I am going to go slow with this.  I know that will frustrate Aurora a little bit, as patience has never been her strength...but I have a couple of reasons for the slow pace.  First of all, I want to make sure that whatever we do, it doesn't affect her health.  And secondly, this is going to be a long road.  I want to be have Aurora feel like we are not standing still.  I feel like if I gave her a bunch of rules and rituals right away, she will soon feel like things are standing still again.  It's important for us to feel that connection and feel that we are growing together. 

I have no doubt that we will beat this nasty disease and that we will get back to where we used to be, both physically and mentally.  Baby steps and patience are going to be essential.