A (Brief) View From The Bottom

As Aurora had mentioned the other day, on the second to last day of 2013, I offered her a chance to be the dominant for a couple of days. We are in the roles that we are for a reason.  That is where we are comfortable.  However, I thought that perhaps it would be good for the both of us to see it from the other side. It took about 20 hours for her to beg me to take the power back.  It didn't feel right for her.  She hated being in control.  The truth is...no begging was necessary.

I give credit to any person...male or female...that can give complete submission.  It is a gift.  A gift that I, as a dominant, cannot completely wrap my head around.  First of all, I am just not wired to submit.  I need to be in control of myself and Aurora.  I am happiest and most comfortable that way.  In turn, Aurora is not wired to be dominant.  She is happiest when decisions are made for her and when I have the control.  We are made for each other.

So, when I handed Aurora control, what do you think she went to first?  Yep. My spanking stick.  My spanking stick is literally a wand from a set of  mini blinds.  It is quiet and that is part of the reason I like it so much being that we have kids in the house.  At any rate, I played along (not sure if you would call it submitting).  I laid on my belly, bare bottomed and let her give it a try.  She tapped me lightly and giggled.  This was going to be easy.  She didn't have it in her to spank me hard, like I do to her. 

Just as I relaxed, thinking about how she was going to be handing back the power any minute, apparently she decided that this was her one and only chance...and...WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!  Holy fuck!  I rolled over to let the stinging subside. Yes, I know...bad submissive.  When I rolled back over onto my stomach, she really got into it, giving me several whacks with the stick.  I flinched away and rolled onto my back and told her in my best submissive tone that she will never touch me with that stick again.  I was caught in between thinking how much I hated that feeling and thinking about how damn effective it must be on her and looking forward to my next chance to spank her with it.  I decided that I belong on the swinging end of the spanking stick from now on.  I am happier. She is happier. I think the stick is even happier that way. If I were the stick, I would prefer touching her ass than mine any day.

I realize that this story makes me look like a gigantic wuss.  And maybe I am.  What I did realize though is that one truly needs to be submissive to take that kind of pain.  Once in the mindset of serving and enduring, it is amazing what a submissive can withstand.  It makes me proud of Aurora and shows me how much she loves her role.  You have to love it in order to put up with that stick! 

The Pain I Don't Want

I know being a slave means you're supposed to serve him, but sometimes lots of times it's Daddy taking care of me. Several weeks ago, I woke up one Saturday morning in major pain. Daddy dumped me in the bathtub and then put me back to bed. He went out and got movies and snacks and we spent the entire day cuddled up in bed.

Sadly this isn't the first time.

I have fibromyalgia. I know lots of women are in the same leaky boat, and all I can really say is that it really really sucks sometimes. I've been suffering from the painful 'flare-ups' off and on for the past eight years and have tried several different drugs along with physical therapy. But either it makes me feel goofy in the head or quits working, so for the most part I manage the pain with ibuprofen and wine.

Most days I'm okay - especially if I mange to eat healthy and exercise, avoid stress, not experience any major weather changes, and not be in those final days leading to my not so favorite time of month. And since starting TTWD though I've discovered another 'fibro management' trick for me. That night a few weeks ago -- he spanked me pretty darn good and I felt worlds better on Sunday.

Unfortunately the aching is back this week and I'm miserable. It's been days of snow and cold and PMS.

Hoping that means lots of spanking tonight....