Rules, Rituals, and Some Kinky Stuff -- Answers to Questions from Mc kitten

So mc kitten asked about the rules/rituals that Daddy’s instigated that I don’t like and what ones I do like. I have 67 rules at the moment and a handful of rituals, and after re-reading them this morning there honestly are not that many I don’t like. Or maybe I’m just feeling that way because a lot of them have been suspended over the past few months…I don’t know. But anyways, here I go…

Rules/Rituals I Don’t Like:

• There’s a rule that I’m not allowed to use the word “hate” in front of him. There’s no reason for this rule (except that he likes it and thinks it’s funny) so I think that’s why it frustrates me and I hate strongly dislike it. That and I forget it a lot.

• I’m not allowed to swear outside the bedroom. I’ve never been one to frequently use swear words so it’s not a huge deal, but there are times in life that just call for a really strong word. I am, however, allowed to swear in the bedroom provided it’s in a sexual context. For example, saying “I want to fuck you,” is acceptable. Calling him a “motherfucker” apparently is not.

• That I’m not allowed to cut my hair without permission. Daddy likes long hair. I sort of prefer it on the easy-to-take-care-of-short-side. I guess I get to use to long hair now.

• The 5 minute call/text back rule. If Daddy calls or texts me, he expects a response within five minutes unless I have a good reason (such as driving, in church, at a movie, etc). I have a bad habit of both turning my phone off, losing my phone, and forgetting to charge it. I’ve gotten in big trouble over breaking this rule before.

• The no asking for orgasms rule. I’m allowed (and actually supposed) to tell him if I feel I physically need one. But asking or begging for one during sex (unless he tells me to) is forbidden and sometimes well when we’re in the heat of the moment and all…I forget and ask anyways.

• There’s also a “No Expectations” rules which can give me a headache if I think too much about it. It would take me a month’s worth of blog posts to explain the circles it sometimes sends me in, but I'll try to keep this short. Basically I’m supposed to trust Daddy to guide me, love me, and take care of my needs. However, I’m not supposed to place ‘expectations’ on him. For example, early on I told Daddy I needed more domination from him to feel submissive. Daddy felt my problem wasn't that he wasn't giving me enough domination, but rather I was focusing too much on what was missing rather than what was there. So he gave me an assignment where I spent the week listing every time I felt his domination. In the end when I saw how long that list was, I realized he was right and felt much better. So telling him I need more domination and asking is okay. Trusting him to fulfill my needs is okay. Expecting him to give me what I ask for all the time is not okay because as in this case, he fulfilled my needs without giving me what I asked for. It is a good rule for us -- it just makes my head hurt sometimes.

• As for the rituals – well there aren’t really any I don’t like. Sometimes getting up at 5 am for the morning ritual and to make him breakfast sucks (because I’m not really a morning person), but the rituals to me are all about focusing on why I do this and why I need this. So they are a huge help to me and I do love them.

Rules/Rituals I do Like:

• There’s a rule that my job as mother always comes first. My father made my mother choose between him and the kids in a terrible way, and I’ve told Daddy in the past that I would choose my children if forced to in a situation like that. I’m glad that Daddy made it clear that he won’t ever make me make such a choice.

• There’s a rule that I have to go to church every week. I like this rule not so much for the rule, but because what it stands for. Daddy is not a religious person. In fact, he hates strongly dislikes most churches and religions. However, I grew up to have a rather strong faith, and Daddy respects that. He made this rule on his own (I never asked for it) and to me it sort of says that he’s not out to change me, just keep me safe and bring out the best in me.

• As for my favorite rituals – well I really love them all. But I think my favorite is the only one we’ve really gotten to do over the past few months (and what I’m really missing this week). It’s our one and only DD/lg one, but Daddy puts me to bed and tucks me in every night. I really miss him.

Mc kitten also asked: I'd like to know what you favourite new thing has been that you both have tried since starting on this TTWD road and what is the thing at the list of what you'd like to try next!

Well my favorite is the orgasm tease & denial. As much as I sometimes hate strongly dislike it, nothing pushes me faster into that subspace place than when he plays or rather tortures me. Daddy’s is the cane. We have a flogger, a crop, a paddle, a belt, a wooden spoon, and his hand, but Daddy always prefers to spank with his ‘stick’ (which up until recently was a blind tilt). Just before I got all my health issues, he got a cane and really loved the welts it made.

As for what we’d like to try next…Daddy just wants to get back in the ‘swing of things’. So he really wouldn’t say what he wants to try next. I’d like to be fisted or have my nipples pierced, I think. Or maybe not.

Thanks for the questions mc kitten!

The Fine Print

In the beginning there was a contract. Daddy wrote it when he proposed the power exchange. I can't really remember everything it said, but I clearly remember there being a contract. Somewhere along the way it was replaced with an unspoken agreement and a bracelet that locks around my wrist, but I know there once was that contract.

You see, I had a little bit of sub frenzy when Daddy gave me that contract. And I think I forgot to read some of the fine print.

Oh, I have so much to learn.

Like when it comes to gift giving. Daddy is beyond generous with gifts. Like out of this world thoughtfully generous. Like all my friends now think he's some super gift giving hero, and when I post on Facebook how great my husband is, they don't ask 'Did you get hacked?'. Instead they ask 'What did he get you?'.

I should be super happy about this -- right?

Well I am. And I'm thankful too. And grateful. And very very lucky. But I'm also super annoyed. Because now they want to know what I'm getting him.

Well...uh...um...

Daddy controls all the money. All the money. I have to ask to spend any of it -- even a dollar. And while, he's generous here too and rarely denies me what I want and need, when I ask to buy him something he's tightens up fast. Oh, I can get money out of him for the kids to shop with, but me...uh...nope.

He's a happy man, he'll say. He has everything he wants. And if he doesn't, he'll go out and buy it himself. 

This year he really outdid himself and when I whined to my writer friends that I had no money to get him anything, they offered up their suggestions.

A blowjob?

Uh...check


Member to the blow job club for a month?

He already has the lifetime membership.


VIP membership - no line, no cover, and no reciprocation?

Well I stopped there because I didn't want to admit he already has that too.

I guess I'll keep looking for that contract in hopes there was a loophole somewhere. I've still got a week til christmas.

Online Limits

Daddy controls the time I spend online. Usually when he's home, it's his time and family time. No blogging, surfing the web, or hanging out with my writer friends on Facebook. There's more time and flexibility for that during the weekdays and sometimes even during the evenings. But weekends are different. There's shopping, cleaning, and church. Daddy and I have a 'date night'. Any sewing I do happens on the weekend. Sometimes I get time to glance at my phone, but never for too long or else Daddy will take it away.

It's a good thing to be semi-unplugged. I enjoy being there in the moment with him and our girls. But I'm also supposed to blog on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so it's a bad thing for Monday mornings if I don't have blog post already written and scheduled before the weekend.

Like I didn't do last Friday. Eeeeep.

Daddy not only limits my time online, but he also limits (somewhat) what I can do. He moderates this blog and the comments. He tracks where I go online. And he controls what I can do when I'm online too.

I have a habit of googling everything. Sometimes this a very helpful and useful habit. It's research for my writing. It's helped fix the garbage disposal. It makes a great spell check. But every time I get a weird symptom, I also google it. And before you know it I've diagnosed myself with cancer or am convinced I'm having a heart attack. And I know I'm not the only one out there who does this...

This drives Daddy crazy. So much so, that now he's banned WebMD and googling 'health related' topics. Not only that, apparently he's blocked the site too.

He says he would prefer I'd be diagnosed by a real doctor instead of Dr. Aurora.

On Being His Slave

When Daddy first proposed the whole Master/slave dynamic, I had visions of 24/7 nakedness while on my knees. Thank goodness it's nothing like that! We have kids after all and we live in a place that gets very cold in the winter. My knees are getting older and not really up to lots of kneeling.

Daddy's a pretty laid back guy. So even though I'm his slave, we don't do a lot of the high protocol stuff. He doesn't care if I sit on the furniture. I don't have to ask permission to use the bathroom. He doesn't tell me what to wear everyday.

That's not to say he doesn't control things. I do have to ask permission to eat certain foods or leave the house. I'm not allowed to spend money without asking. He tells me when bedtime is. And even though he doesn't choose my clothes, he has his input there--he likes me to dress like 'very girly' which to him means skirts and dresses everyday. 

And I do end up at his feet naked every night as part of our bedtime ritual. But it's not an all day thing and usually by then I'm in my very happy subby place.

As we go along, Daddy has added more and more. I do like his control -- everything he adds just makes me feel safer and more secure. Like he's put me in this little box that grows tighter and tighter with his control.

But sometimes I wonder if I'll someday end up being that 24/7 naked, kneeling slave who has to ask to pee.

And as much as I love his control, sometimes I kinda hope that's not where we're headed. Because I'm a freeze baby with the world's weakest bladder. Lol.

But I also know that ultimately, that's really not up to me.