Sunday, March 16, 2014

Early Answer to Geekie Kittie's Question

Geekie Kittie asked: Since you have entered into this D/s dynamic, what effect has it had on your relationship and what effect has it had on Aurora specifically (has it made her more self confident etc?) 

This dynamic has affected our relationship on so many different levels.  Being the guy that I am, I will start with the first one.  Sex.  We went from having "Saturday Sex" as I like to call it (Every other Saturday whether we needed it or not) to having the sex life that I have always dreamed of with Aurora.  There is passion and variety and spanking sticks and want and need and spanking sticks.

The second aspect that has improved is the closeness that we share.  I think this comes from the sex a little bit too, but more than that...the closeness comes from honesty in my opinion.  My number one rule is honesty.  Without honesty, this dynamic isn't possible.  In the Pre-TTWD days, Aurora would stretch or omit the truth.  She wasn't a liar, but she would omit things that she thought would make me mad.  Now, she tells me often times without me even having to ask.  This builds trust between us and also cuts down on drama.  In fact we took a couple of weeks last summer and were totally honest with each other about our past.  Those weeks bonded us more than anything in the 19+ years we have known each other.

And that all leads me to the third thing.  Drama.  I hate drama.  Despise it.  With this dynamic, there is little to no drama between us.  We know our roles and we stick to them.  We don't argue about who should clean the bathroom or silly things like that anymore.  I LOVE the lack of drama in this dynamic!

As for how this dynamic has changed Aurora...

Yes GK, you are right.  It has made her more self confident.  She still struggles with that at times, but there are many areas of her life that she is more self confident.

I think the biggest thing that I think of when I think about how this has changed Aurora is her overall happiness.  This dynamic has been inside Aurora for a long long time and I think just being able to bring it out and be herself, makes her extremely happy.  She doesn't have to feel shame with her feelings or fantasies, especially when it comes to talking to me.  She is submissive at heart and always has been.  Without knowing that her submissive side would lead to this, that is a part of her that I have always been extremely attracted to.  I'm glad that she had the courage to let that side free!

The other thing that sticks out for me is how she deals with difficult situations.  A difficult situation pre-TTWD would be cause for days if not weeks of drama...and we have already established what I think of the "D" word.  Now, many times she will tell me about it and move on within minutes.  And for the really difficult situations, it may affect her for longer...but it doesn't consume her life.

To sum it all up...I wouldn't trade what we have now for anything and I think Aurora would say the same.  We have an unbreakable bond now and while it may make things difficult at a time like this when I have to be away for business...that bond is our life.  One that nobody can take from us. Ever.


  1. I think it was always my job to clean the bathroom. :) But I really wish you were here to laugh about the spaghetti fight right now.

    Love you and miss you sooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. You don't know how much I wish I were there too (or you here)! I love you and miss you too! Only a few more days baby! :)

  2. That is amazing & kind of what I thought you would say, actually.

    I think that as much as Aurora has always been submissive at heart, you too have always been Dom at heart too. I think it just came down to the right timing for you both to unleash the "inner you"

    Thank you for the amazing insights into your lives, Phillip. It was well worth the wait!

    You know I think you are both AWESOME SAUCE! Sorry, I hope that wasn't too much drama for you!

    I hope your business trip is successful & that the week goes by quickly because SOMEBODY mentioned spanking sticks .... Twice! ;)


    1. Thanks GK. Glad you liked the post. Great question! Oh did I mention the spanking stick twice??

  3. What a lovely post and reflection on your relationship. I love the ending and Aurora's comment is sweet :) I hope the week passes quickly for you both.

    We have seen many of the same changes as well. TTWD has made the connection we have so much stronger.


    1. Thanks Roz! Yes, it seems to be a general theme in this dynamic to strengthen the connection! I love that!