How It Began Part Two

If I had known then what I know now, I may have never sent Phillip that e-mail.  I may have realized the risks—that I was revealing a deep part of myself he might not accept.

He could reject me. Tell me I was abnormal. Or weird. Or crazy.

So many risks.

But I didn’t realize that when I hit send. I was nervous—pounding heart, churning stomach--, but I never really thought things through about how he would react.

I just hit send.

And lucky for me he didn’t freak out. He didn’t call me crazy.

No, he came home early from work that night and made some of those fantasies I had written about in the e-mail come true.

Over the next few days, weeks, and months, our entire relationship shifted. Sex finally came to the forefront. We explored new things together and grew in ways I never thought possible. We played lots of ‘D/s games’…we had a special bracelet I wore when feeling submissive, we had special rules, special nights of the week. We even had an entire day of D/s when the kids were gone. It was all just ‘bedroom stuff’, but it was good and we were happy.

And then came his e-mail.

Unbeknownst to me, Philip had been doing some reading and research of his own. And about six months after I sent my e-mail, he sent one proposing a 24/7 power exchange. I didn’t hesitate to agree.

In the beginning I was anxious and wanted to jump in. He wanted a slower pace. This led to some early bumps, but once I learned to let go and follow, things got easier. The road hasn’t always been perfectly smooth—we’ve had our growing pains. We’ve had some pretty big fights—and even a few times where we’ve had to step back from things.

When he brought up the power exchange, I didn’t think it would be a big shift to our relationship. He’d always been the ‘one to where the pants’ anyways. But I was wrong.

TTWD has changed EVERYTHING in our relationship. What I once thought was a happy marriage pales in comparison to how we are now. I’ve never felt this close to anyone, this in safe with someone, this in love with someone.  Even our dating days. Or our wedding day.

I don’t know exactly what we are. DD, Taken In Hand, M/s, D/s. We’re a little bit of all of it, I think. And a few months ago, he even became Daddy. Not as an age thing, but because it fits. He’s everything these days. My protector, my friend, my shoulder to cry on, my guide, my support, my safe place to fall.

Maybe we’re just us, making our own little place under the TTWD umbrella and waking wake up every day thankful that I sent that e-mail.

And that this---whatever it is---began.